Who's Hooking Kids on Their Phones?

The Real Desire of Kids: Unstructured Play Over Screens

Children today are often seen as glued to their phones, with many believing that they prefer digital interaction over real-life activities. However, a recent Harris Poll challenges this common perception, revealing that kids aged 8 to 12 have a strong preference for in-person socializing without the presence of adults or screens.

The poll highlights that children are not inherently drawn to technology; rather, it is often the only space where they can interact freely without constant adult supervision. This finding was explored in an article co-written by Lenore Skenazy, Jonathan Haidt, and Zach Rausch, discussing a survey conducted with the Harris Poll. The survey asked 500 children to choose their favorite way to spend time with friends from three options:

• Unstructured play, such as pickup basketball or exploring the neighborhood.
• Adult-led activities, like ballet or soccer.
• Socializing online.

The results were striking. A significant majority of children—45%—chose unstructured play, while only 30% preferred adult-organized activities and 25% opted for online interaction. This indicates that kids are yearning for a more traditional, free-range childhood, reminiscent of the kind depicted in shows like "Stranger Things."

However, the reality for many children is far from ideal. The poll found that most kids are not allowed to be unsupervised in public spaces like streets, parks, or stores. Many have rarely or never walked around without an adult. For example, fewer than half of 8- or 9-year-olds have ever been to another aisle at the grocery store on their own. Surprisingly, more than a quarter of 8- and 9-year-olds—and one in five older kids—are not even permitted to play in their own front yard.

This lack of freedom has led to a paradoxical situation where children’s lives are heavily influenced by technology but simultaneously infantilized in real-world settings. For instance, more children ages 8 and 9 have spoken to an AI chatbot than have used a sharp knife. While parents may feel responsible for this shift, the issue lies in broader societal fears, norms, and laws that promote micromanagement.

The consequences of this overprotective environment are evident. According to the surgeon general, children and parents alike are more depressed than ever. Today's childhood is not working well for anyone involved. The only escape that seems to offer real joy is the screen. Kids who cannot even buy a Hershey’s bar on their own can navigate virtual worlds and connect with people across the globe.

Parents often urge children to put down their devices, but why would they? There are few real-life alternatives available. Nearly three-quarters of the kids surveyed agreed that they would spend less time online if there were more friends in their neighborhood to play with in person.

Technology is undeniably appealing, but children have a deep, almost instinctual desire to play and explore the world as previous generations did. This natural inclination is being stifled by modern constraints.

Lenore Skenazy, president of Let Grow, is advocating for a return to real-world independence. Her nonprofit organization works to make free play and independent exploration easy, normal, and legal again. Through programs for schools and parents, Let Grow encourages children to develop skills and confidence through hands-on experiences.

Additionally, the organization has supported the passage of “Reasonable Childhood Independence” laws in 11 states, which affirm the right of children to play outside, walk to school, and engage in other unsupervised activities without fear of parental investigation.

It is unfair to blame children for their reliance on screens when they are not given the opportunity to explore the world around them. As the Atlantic piece concludes, “If parents want their kids to put down their phones, they need to open the front door.”